So what to do with all this darkness and pain? Do I stay here? Do I run from the Healer? I find myself in a unique position. Will I choose Him despite what He brings? Job 2:10 says, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" And so my answer is a resounding YES! I choose You. Whatever You bring. Pain or joy. I choose You and not what blessing you may or may not bring to me.
John Piper says it well, "Ordinarily, faith would mean trust or confidence you put in someone who has given good evidence of his reliability and willingness and ability to provide what you need. But when Jesus Christ is the object of faith there is a twist. He himself is what we need. If we only trust Christ to give us gifts and not himself as the all-satisfying gift, then we do not trust him in a way that honors him as our treasure. We simply honor the gifts. They are what we really want, not him. So biblical faith in Jesus must mean that we trust him to give us what we need most — namely, himself. That means that faith itself must include at its essence a treasuring of Christ above all things.”
That sounds hard, doesn't it?
Let's not sugar coat this- it has taken me years to get to this point. I am not saying I have this all figured out and the future will be all daisies and roses. I never want this blog to be unrealistic (I have dear friends who will keep me in line...you know who you are). I never want to minimize the hurt that someone may be going through. My point is, if I have to choose something, I choose Him.
When I let Him in He gets to work in my heart. Light brings warmth, hope, joy. He is strengthening me and teaching me. All I had to do is let go and choose.
There is strength within the sorrow, There is beauty in our tears
You meet us in our mourning, With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting, Sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding, You’re teaching us to trust
Your plans are still to prosper, You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
Faithful forever, Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
You are wisdom unimagined, Who could understand your ways
Reigning high above the heavens, Reaching down in endless grace
Youʼre the Lifter of the lowly, Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me, Your promises are my delight
Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good, You turn it for our good and for your glory
Even in the valley You are faithful
Youʼre working for our good, Youʼre working for our good and for your glory
Aaron Keyes
