About five months ago, I ordered Brennan Manning's book Ruthless Trust. It is the sequel to one of my favorite books by Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel. I read the first chapter right away and didn't touch it again until last week. I don't think I was ready for its message five months ago...I'm not sure if I'm ready for it now. Finishing my Masters has opened up free time that I am committed to putting to good use. Thus far it has involved cleaning my house, organizing cabinets and closets, and visiting with friends and family. It may seem melodramatic, but I'm starting to feel like myself again. I learned a lot over the last year and a half- many take aways and realizations of things that are truly important. I started a science blog for school. I can't say I enjoyed writing all of those papers, but the habit of reflection has stuck with me. And so, here it is. My first non-academic blog since the Xanga days of college.
I can't say that either of these books prompted me to want to start a blog, rather reading Ruthless Trust (only three chapters in) is causing me to reflect on what I have been holding deep inside for several years. I'm not a big fan of sharing private information on social media, but I've felt a need to share my story with others for a while. Not so it can be all about me, but so it can be all about Him. I have been in a dry and painful place, but I hear Him calling me out, asking me to trust Him again (hence the book) and put myself in a place to soak up His refreshing presence. Think of a dry shriveled sponge under the sink faucet, softening and expanding, capable of holding more. Sounds nice.
I will refrain from the formal APA citation, but according to Wikipedia, a doxology is "a short hymn of praise to God". Manning uses the phrase in his book, and so it is the title of my blog. Despite the darkness I have experienced (we all experience some kind of darkness), I choose to sing a doxology praising the One "in whom we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28).
"To be grateful for an unanswered prayer, to give thanks in a state of interior desolation, to trust in the love of God in the face of the marvels, cruel circumstances, obscenities, and commonplaces of life is to whisper a doxology in darkness." - Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust
I am a Brennan Manning fan and have read Ragamuffin Gospel several times, which is not unusual for it often takes me reading something several times for me to really get it. Anyway just a little over three weeks ago I was called out of retirement to officiate a memorial service for a police officer killed in the line of duty, (actually we had two killed in the same call that night) I along with the rest of Topeka KS went through the valley of the "shadow" and could feel the extreme darkness brought with that experience. As I prepared for the service, God brought to my mind 1st Thessalonians 5:18 "In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". I did what the scripted said to do and little by little, day by day I began to once again see the darkness turn to light.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading "Doxology of Darkness" with great anticipation of the beams of light our Father wants us to see.